ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
