operation harelip BJ is a go
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
