Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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