I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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