Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
