Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
