i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
