Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
