white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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