do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
