Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
