She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
