Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
