i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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