Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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