You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
