i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
