New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
