Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
