i jhust puked up my retainher.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
