There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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