Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
