The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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