i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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