took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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