people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
