i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
