she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
