She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
