OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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