Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
