Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
