So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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