I want to have your abortion
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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