Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
