didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
her vagine was all disorganized.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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