i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
