it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
