I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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