we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
