Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
