i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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