I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
