If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
