You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
