She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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