Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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