Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i drank out of a bidet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
