you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
