That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
