I want to stick my p in your. b.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
