butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
