they need to just BURY HIM!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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