You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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